JC's Place: July 2005

Friday, July 29, 2005

JC Eludes The Mormon Pope

When JC gets a job and some employer-paid benefits, he'll TOTALLY stop stealing other people's meds.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

JC & The God That Escaped From The Circus

JC knows how to keep it real.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Monday, July 25, 2005

JC's New Look For Summer

Let's just hope he doesn't wear his white shroud after Labor Day.

Zombies are people who have risen from the dead and are on a balls-out mission to eat human brains. Sometimes zombies are brought back to life by black magic or even voodoo. Zombies are easy to differentiate from the living because they are decomposing & walk with their arms straight out. Also, they moan. Technically, anyone who comes back from the dead is a zombie. Some famous zombies are JC & Spock.

Zombies are usually found in close proximity to boneyards, mausoleums, crypts, morgues and sometimes around lonely farmhouses. "Killing" zombies is kind of redundant, because the zombie is already dead. Your job is to make a wrong thing right and put that zombie in the ground for good. If I remember correctly, zombies move kind of slow, but hang out in big groups, so it can still be a bitch to get away from them. What they do is put the clutch on you so you can't get away and then they start ripping you into strips for eating purposes. You'll want to avoid capture, as it means getting eaten. Popular film teaches us that the best way to put down a zombie is to shoot it in the head. Kill the head and the body will die. Did Raoul Duke say that? Anyway, a shotgun is good for this, or maybe an AR-15. Bang bang bang! It's important that we get rid of the zombies, because if left to their own devices, they'll pave a road to the gates of Hell with human skulls and march down it to the eerie cadence of drums stretched with human skin and beat with human ulnas. When they pass through the gates, the borders of Hell will spill over and then we're stuck with a world full of demons and zombies and a whole Book of Revelations scene on our hands and frankly, I just got my car paid off, so I don't need that headache.

They'll also use your stolen credit card to pay off Charon once they hit the Acheron, so to avoid dealing with the ass-backwards fraud department of your bank or credit union, shoot all the zombies you can.

To learn more about zombies, click here.

-RP

Friday, July 22, 2005

JC & The Hair Lady

Way to raise awareness, JC!

JC & The Limey

Can you dig it?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

JC & The TIG-Certified Welder

JC is a proud supporter of the nation's skilled TIG-certified welders.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

JC & The Retiree: Back On The Links

You can have JC's Glock when you pry it from his cold, um, undead hand. But be careful -- the stigmata-hole can weep, causing something of a biohazard. And you don't really know where he's been, do you?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

JC & Carpet Bruce

"O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee."
-Psalm 69 (the sexiest Psalm ever)

JC & Literate Monica Redux

"Rejoice in the LORD, O ye righteous: for praise is comely for the upright."
-The Bible

JC & The Thing From The Ocean

"And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life..."
-Genesis (planet forbidden)

Friday, July 15, 2005

JC & Friend

Every Friday is a good Friday at Bruce's place.

JC & Trucker Lyle

JC salutes the men and women who traverse the highways of our great nation.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

JC & The Man With The Hat

"The gospel alone is sufficient to rule the lives of Christians everywhere...any additional rules made to govern men's conduct added nothing to the perfection already found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ."
-John Wycliffe